Earlier today, a teaser from the Mary J. Blige sit down with Angie Martinez hit the internet. From the clip, we could already tell that Mary was going to be her authentic self. And she was planning on telling the truth about the dissolution of her marriage to Kendu Isaacs. And after listening to the full thing, that’s exactly what she did. Check out some of the highlights and the entire sit down interview between two friends, below.
From the beginning of the interview, they jumped right into things. When Angie complimented Mary on her looking and seeming good, she said:
I got to keep loving myself regardless of who don’t love me no more.
Going on tour in the midst of the divorce.
Angie, I needed that. I needed to be somewhere other than home thinking about all this foolishness. These lawyers and this and that, just all this stupidity. I needed to be somewhere where I can vent and express myself and use my music as my own therapy and get some energy back from the fans. I needed that love and I was telling them every night.
And I’m still in it. It’s just getting worse. It really is not getting better. More b.s., more nonsense more lies, more denial, more stupidity. I can’t even believe it’s this bad. It should be over by now but, you know… the games that are being played. It’s because of everything that’s happening in court.
He has the power to make it all go away if he just would stop demanding what he’s demanding. And that’s not fair to me because he doesn’t deserve what he’s demanding. Why do I have to pay you? And why do you think you deserve this amount of money? Why do you think you deserve any money? You didn’t make me. You’re not God. So I have to pay you for being my husband and being my manager. You say you helped me. Yeah you helped but you didn’t build this career. I was Mary J. Blige before I even met you. So that’s no fair of you so this is the sickness.
Does she think he’s entitled to anything?
Why would he be entitled to something? Because he’s used to living the way he used to live? Why else would he think he was entitled to something? Because if you did what you did because you love me and you manage me because you love me and you rock with me as my husband because you love me, why should I have to pay you now?
I saw the list. The list that comes through is the list that comes from the lawyer. He signs it. Whatever he signs go to these courtrooms and you got TMZ and all these different reporters down there and once they see it, they get it and it’s out into the public. I saw this list and I was like, ‘I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you’re trying to stick me up.’ No disrespect to his family at all but I’m not responsible for them. I don’t have any children with you and I’m not responsible for anything else with you anymore. I don’t owe you anything. It’s not fair. So this is very mean.
Are you talking to him?
I’m not really talking to him and when I did talk to him, he wasn’t talking sensibly.
Where she messed up.
Unfortunately, he was my everything and you can’t make a person your everything, Because you giving em too much power. You giving him God’s power. And this is why things like this happen. I just gave him way to much but I gave him all of that so he can feel comfortable in the company of my peers and when he comes around he’s not just Mary J. Blige’s husband. That’s why I gave him everything I gave him. I made him my everything and I wanted people to know about it because he was somebody I liked and thought was my friend. I enjoyed being around him so I was like, I want the world to see this. I want the world to know who you are and know about you. When I love you I love you. I loved him. When I love you, I give like way too much. But I’ll never do that again. I won’t give that much every again. He f*cked it up for everybody.
Will she ever get married again?
Right now? No. I will never get married again.
Marriage not being for everybody
You lose yourself in it. You don’t even realize how much you lost yourself. You lose your identity. You start living to please this man and want to be everything he wants you to be. I was always desperate to be loved by a man that ‘Oh wow this is him.’
What was the moment you knew it was over?
The overwhelming disrespect. You’re disrespecting me and I can sense that I’m not what you want anymore. Because now you start throwing questions around like ‘Why you don’t cook?’ I haven’t been cooking. ‘Why you don’t wear your hair like this?’ I never wore my hair like this before. So what’s up with you. You start to realize this man doesn’t want you and he’s jsut gone all the time. And you’re by yourself in the relationship. And when you realize you’re by yourself in a relationship and you’re just suffering through it, now it’s time to do some investigating.
I was getting things here and there but I didn’t get the full proof and when I got the full proof I didn’t have to investigate it. It just showed up, it was revealed. ‘Bam. This is what he’s doing.’ I even gave him a warning.
Did you know before?
Of course, you know but you can’t prove it. He’s telling you all these lies so you can’t prove it.
Do you feel proud of yourself?
I definitely feel empowered because I have to handle my own business now. I have to do everything myself. And I just feel like I escaped something really bad, something that could have been worse than what it was. This is something else that I got to survive. This is hard because it’s just a lot. But it’s fine because I have the power and the strength to do it. I’m surviving it. It was just horrible to be in something when someone doesn’t want you and you know they don’t want you no more but you’re still trying to fight for it and save it. When I went into the studio to write my album the whole thing was based on fighting for my marriage and my marriage wasn’t fighting for me. So God had to reveal this because He was like, ‘I’m not going to step out there and lie to yourself and to people. This man is doing this. Boom.’
Do you put it in the music?
Absolutely. On the My Life album when I was going through everything I was going through and it was dark. It was the first time I ever really spoke personally. I was saying help me. Now, I’m saying ‘You know what I’m a little pissed right now and hurt but there’s light at the end of the tunnel but I’m human and this is hard.’ This album just embodies what I’m dealing with. Every five minutes there’s something going on that makes me want to choke somebody. And then there’s moments like when I hang out with you for our birthdays and it’s beautiful. And I remember that.
I hate this part of my life.
I would imagine sometimes you want to curl up.
I do curl up. I turn off my phone. I don’t want to talk to people but I just can’t stay hidden all the time. If I hide, I just might as well die. Because it’s more darker places than there are light places these days but I try to stay in the light because it’s hard.
Are people giving you advice on how to get through?
People are just loving me through it and I’m getting a lot of ‘I’m happy for you.’
Why didn’t you tell me that when we were together?
Because they could have ended up an enemy.
There’s no reconciliation that could ever happen?
Are you excited about the rest of your life?
Yes I feel very hopeful. I just wish this would go away. This is messing up my fun and messing up my hope. It’s too much going on. I pray that it’s over soon.
A lot of people say, ‘When Mary’s sad, we get the best music?’
That’s so unfortunate.
It sucks but it is what it is.
The music is good. “Love Yourself” is hardcore Hip Hop soul. Kanye’s on it. It’s me actually singing, like talking to myself when I was in it.
How did the Kanye collab come about?
I’m a fan of Kanye. I always loved Kanye. Always wanted to work with Kanye. So I reached out to his manager and got a number on him and began to text him. And I knew him. We speak when we see each other but never ‘Hey I need you to get on this record.’ But I knew I needed him on “Love Yourself.” He was like, ‘Why don’t you come over, we sit and talk’ and tell me what you want.
Who else is on the album?
Missy Elliot. Quavo from The Migos. I love the Migos. That song almost drove me crazy on my birthday. ‘Rain drop, drop top.’ This is what we did for our birthdays. And Khaled are all on “Glow Up.”
I’m glad, unfortunately in this situation, my fans will be happy. They’re going to be happy anyway. But it’s healing time and a lot of us need to get through some stuff that we don’t want to tell nobody about but I’ma tell. This is what I’m here for. We go through all this hell Angie, just to sit in the house and be by ourselves in it? No. You got to talk to somebody. It’s to help somebody. It’s to write a book to do something. It’s not to just die in it.
You going to write a book?
The support from the people.
I’m so grateful for everybody’s love. I appreciate you and I send you love back.
Do you have women role models?
No. I talk to my sister and she helps me with how to handle stuff sometimes. But I don’t have a lot of women that I can call or say that I can call them so I try to handle it all on my own. You’re a mentor. You helped me through a lot and you show me how to handle a lot. When I least expect it, that teacher mom comes out of you. So you’re one of ’em but no.
That Hillary Clinton clip
Someone took a small piece of something that I was trying to express to Hillary because I’m an artist, not a journalist. And I was trying to express to her as my first time being a journalist. I was trying to express to her the words in that song and how every Black woman in America feels, sending their kid to school. I did a whole interview with her because I wanted people to see her as a woman, a grandmother. At the end of the day, she is a woman. And that’s how I like to get I like to get deep down to what it really is. She’s a politician, she’s hard she’s all those things but she’s a woman and she deserves to be treated like one. That’s what I wanted people to see. I wanted people to have a soft moment with her.